Newtie G. the First I am (I am).
I've been married to two women before
But couldn't go to hospices, not — any more.
'Cause everyone had a malady! (Malady!)
Why should I deal with cancer or MS? (Or MS!)
Callista's my third, tempor-arily,
Newtie G. the First, I am.
(Second verse, different from the first!)
I'm Newtie G. the First, I am,
Gonna put the Spanish on the moon, I am.
Think I'll send the gays to go up there, too,
This way Earth is perfect for just me and you.
'Cause everyone is an enemy! (Enemy!)
Diversity's really just a drag. (It's a drag!)
My future has two terms, it's destiny.
Newtie G. the First, I am.
(MUSIC: Sung to the tune of "Henery the Eighth I Am," of course.)
(LYRICS: Actually, we can't claim them as our own. But see "Oh, How Sad" [photo, right].)
(IMAGE: Borrowed from this guy, who loves Nixon. Kind of appropriate.)
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