We cats have mixed feelings about the amazing poll numbers we're seeing in the 2012 Republican clown college.
While Michigan appears to have tightened between Rick Santorum and Willard Mitt Romney, Texas is taking our breath away: Santorum at 45 percent! Gingrich second with 18! Romney in third — third! In a possible winner-take-all primary! (Goodness gracious. We're catching the dreaded Jim Robinson Exclamation Point Disease.)
On the one hand, we're loving this. The GOP is so torn between its ostensibly reasonable, inside-the-Beltway head and its grass-roots, red-meat, hating heart that the clowniest of the 2012 clowns — with the possible exception of Donald Trump, who never actually got in — now is the "conservative alternative" to a frontrunner the Republican establishment views only tepidly, and whom the rabid base loathes. As one of our favorite bloggers would say, Fun!
On the other hand, despite the fact that he's alienating mainstream voters left and right, Santorum's antics are kinda depressing. It's just so deflating to see all these old issues — matters on which society has admirably and already progressed — re-introduced into the national conversation. Topics like the President's faith, not to mention women's health, contraception and the value of public education all fall into the category of what our attorney friends would call "settled law" — and we're wondering why the hell we're even discussing them again.
It's as if after the automobile was invented, somebody said, "You know what? Let's revisit the horse and buggy."
Or, after TV came into being, the powers that be declared, "Never mind. We're happy with radio."
Or, when germs were discovered and the X-ray was developed, doctors responded with, "Oh, that's nice, but let's go back to bleeding."
In other words, do you think the iPod is immoral? Then stick with the Walkman, and vote for Santorum.
Are the Republicans committing political suicide with this antediluvian nonsense? Definitely. But although that pleases us, we cats resent having to spend an iota of energy on this stuff. Therefore, we HISS.
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