Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Hillary's Presser

By Miss Kubelik

For those of you worried that it's time for the Democratic nominee to hold a press conference, we cats have a suggestion that we think will be both radical and effective.

We agree with certain experts that, knowing the media's negative attitude toward all matters Clinton, a traditional presser could quickly devolve into a pointless free-for-all. Therefore, Secretary Clinton should resolve to throw everything right back into the media's face. (After all, everyone hates the press, right? Or does that tactic only work for Republicans?)

In short, after Hillary answers eight or so questions about emails and the Clinton Foundation, she should simply say, "Okay, everyone. Thanks to draconian Republican social policies, pregnant women are dying in Texas. Does anyone want to ask me about that? Or do we just want to ask questions I've already answered about things that American voters don't care about?"

Then, after the next question is about emails or the Foundation, Secretary Clinton should say, "Asked and answered. Who wants to give me a question about how Donald Trump wants to give Vladimir Putin the green light to overrun NATO countries? Anyone? Anyone?"

Then, assuming the reporters will persist on the so-called Clinton "scandals," Hillary should repeat: "Asked and answered. Does anyone want to ask me about the Supreme Court's decision to block the North Carolina voter ID law?"

Would it be risky? Sure. But it would brutally make the point that the media are fixated on crap instead of serious policy. And if Secretary Clinton could face down the so-called "Benghazi committee" for 11 hours, she can do this for 60 minutes. In fact, we cats would sell tickets, because it would make us PURR.

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