Sunday, August 7, 2016

Mapping November

By Miss Kubelik

We cats would like to congratulate the authors of the GOP's post-2012 "autopsy" — Henry Barbour, Sally Bradshaw, Ari Fleischer, Zori Fonalledas and Glenn McCall. You were right!

That is, they were completely correct in warning their fellow Republicans that their party would shrink to the size of Grover Norquist's storied bathtub — and their opportunities on the electoral map would seriously retract — if the GOP continued to repel key constituent groups such as women, African Americans, Latinos (especially Latinos), young people and the LGBT community.

Because guess what? The Republican Party has nominated a standard-bearer who is not only offensive to all of those groups, but also to the majority of college-educated whites, including men. And right now, the battlegrounds are dropping off Trump's electoral map faster than his casinos are closing.

You've seen the polls. Today's latest, the ABC News/Washington Post national survey, has Hillary Clinton beating Trump by eight points. But the reports from the swing states are just as dire. Virginia, Pennsylvania and Michigan are just three that, if the election were held today, would be solidly in the Democratic column — while Ohio, Arizona and, incredibly, Georgia, could also join them. Clinton-Kaine's map is expanding. Trump-Pence's is starting to resemble Beetlejuice's head.

So the autopsy gang ought to be really proud of themselves. (Except of course, for Fleischer, who is lately spending hours of his worthless life going on cable TV to defend Donald Trump. At long last, sir, have you no sense of decency? Meanwhile, Sally Bradshaw has left the Republican Party, and says that if Florida is close, she'll be With Her.)

So here's some advice for our Clinton-Kaine friends in Brooklyn:

We know that you're pulling down your ads in states like Colorado and in our own Commonwealth of Virginia. We think this is smart. But please do continue to behave exactly as you are: organizing on the ground, making those phone calls, knocking on doors, holding rallies, generating local news coverage, meeting voters one-on-one, and doing all the difficult campaign grunt work that the Trump people, because they are clueless, can't be bothered with.

Because this election will be won in Michigan, and Ohio, and Virginia, and Pennsylvania, and Georgia, and Iowa, and New Hampshire, and Wisconsin, and Florida, and Colorado, and — oh, goodness gracious, Howard Dean was right. We cats PURR.

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