Wednesday, October 23, 2019

Maybe You Shouldn't Be In The Country (Because You Just Put It In Danger)

By Hubie and Bertie

Remember when the Republicans were the party of national security? If 9/11 had happened on Al Gore's watch, the GOP would have started crucifying him for it that very afternoon. Republicans were the dudes who were strong on defense, not namby-pambys. They talked tough, invaded countries, assassinated elected foreign leaders. Democrats? Indecisive weaklings who couldn't be trusted to protect America.

Not any more. Today a group of aggrieved white men from the GOP House caucus stormed the secure room where impeachment testimony was scheduled to take place. They took their cellphones in — a serious security breach. What would the hard-line Republican baddies of yesteryear have to say about that?

See, here's the deal. Cellphones are verboten in secure government rooms because America's enemies (Russia, China, Iran, North Korea) could hack into them and retrieve sensitive intelligence. So what Matt Gaetz, "Gym" Jordan, Steve Scalise and other GOP jerks did today was a felony. Like their President, Benedict Donald, they put our nation's national security at risk.

And they picked the day of Nancy Pelosi's brother's funeral to do it.

They know no bottom. The questions now are twofold: Will there be consequences? And is there anyone left in the Republican Party who believes in protecting the United States and who will object to this? We aren't holding our breath. In the meantime, we cats HISS.

P.S. The testimony these idiots tried to delay with this stunt is underway. Sorry, traitors.

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