Thursday, October 10, 2019

Mobsters Are Governing America

By Hubie and Bertie

Why do we have this terrible feeling that this newest Trump scandal goes way beyond just one phone call with the President of Ukraine?

Is that an embarrassingly obvious question? Yes, we know that since his Ukraine call, Benedict Donald stood on the South Lawn and called for China to investigate Joe Biden. And now there are conflicting accounts as to whether the Trumpsters have actually received political intel from the Chinese. C'mon, guys! We thought you were all just going to commit treason in plain view, for heaven's sake.

But now that two Trump dudes named "Lev" and "Igor" have been hauled off to the hoosegow for funneling Russian money into US elections, we're wondering how many other countries, and how many other dictators, strongman and anti-democrats are paying off Trump to have their fingers (and their money) in the American electoral pie.

The Saudis? Kim Jong-un? Dutarte in the Philippines? Hungary's Orban? Bolsanaro in Brazil? How about Boris Johnson? Trump probably didn't scheme with Teresa May — they didn't get along because she was a girl — but surely he was always BFFs with Boris's other Brexit buddy, Nigel Farage. Now Trump has a direct line to No. 10.

Halloween is three weeks off, but we're already scared. And we HISS.

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