Thursday, November 21, 2019

Fabulous, Formidable Fiona

By Miss Kubelik

Our first thoughts about Fiona Hill when we saw and heard her testimony today was that we're glad we don't work for her. It's not that we don't respect her brilliance. It's her refusal to suffer fools that scares us. Gosh, you'd have to be on your toes at the office, all day, every day.

No wonder the Republicans on the Intelligence Committee were racing for the litter box. (See that picture above? Bet she got that bandage on her hand from a knife fight.) Barely any of the GOP House members asked her questions — they just made speeches instead. It must have been wearying for her. She's more than earned an ice-cold, straight-up, olive-laden vodka martini tonight.

What's depressing is that the GOP members — our own Congresswoman among them, we're sorry to say — sat opposite this incredible woman and heard her speak the truth and still, still refused to be moved about the perfidy of Donald Trump. Exhibit "A" is Will Hurd, the lone African-American Republican Congressman who has announced his retirement and has nothing to lose. He said today that there was no there there on impeachment. Incredible.

They're being obstinate because 1) as noted, Fiona is scary, and 2) when you're deservedly called out for siding with Vladimir Putin, you have no choice but to dig your heels in the ever-shifting sands.

And the sands are indeed shifting. Anything can happen these next few weeks. But at this point Republicans should brace themselves for losing the Senate, the Presidency, and at least five more seats in the House in 2020. The elections in Virginia, Kentucky and Louisiana, and the recent outpouring of disgust with our newly Trumpy Congresswoman Stefanik have us edging closer to that prediction.

Oh, and having been destroyed, the GOP will then split into two parties: the Whigs and the Know-Nothings. You heard it here first. We cats HISS.

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