Wednesday, January 8, 2020

President Sniffy-Slurrer Addresses The Nation

By Zamboni

The word is that Benedict Donald has been silent on Twitter today. Is he feeling a tad down, since everyone's making fun of his slurred speech this afternoon and Republicans in Congress aren't buying his team's briefing on the Soleimani assassination? Don't they know that "All is well!"? (And are we the only ones thinking about Kevin Bacon at the end of "Animal House"? Say it ain't so.)

Because all is not well.

It feels strange to agree with Republican Senators Mike Lee and Rand Paul. But Lee in particular just blew a gasket today after the briefing. "It is not acceptable for officials within the executive branch…to come and tell us that we can’t debate and discuss the appropriateness of military intervention against Iran," he fumed. "It’s un-American, it’s unconstitutional, and it’s wrong." Who's going to yank Lee and Paul back into place? You know it'll happen.

Meanwhile, the undercurrent to this Iran stuff is — let's just come out and say it — relief, because our President is an idiot. That's our unscientific opinion after seeing reports from American moms that their teen sons had been freaking out about World War III and a draft. Oh, and the top trend right now is not Iran but #Harry&Meghan, with 236,000 tweets. Don't tell us people aren't breathing the proverbial sigh.

It's hard to see how this harrowing episode is a "win" for the Trumpsters. Benedict Donald has united Iran against us, inspired Iraq to kick us out, and torn the last remnants of the nuclear deal to shreds. He's scared the bejesus out of Americans who went to bed last night thinking we were at war. (Can't see that going over well with female voters in the suburbs.) Compared to the media's compliance with the Bush Administration in 2003-04, Trump's lies are being exposed at lightning speed. And his mental and physical deterioration was once again on display this afternoon, for the entire world to see.

We call all that a "loss" — unless you're talking about a nation that expected a nuclear conflagration before breakfast. We cats HISS.

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