Thursday, April 23, 2020

Truisms For The Pandemic

By Miss Kubelik

As the pandemic continues and America's way out of it grows increasingly murky, some things have become, by contrast, crystal clear. Here are a few examples.

The mayor of Las Vegas, like so much of her city, is a cartoon. How did anybody vote for this ditz? Also, please note that most people with "I"s after their names are, in reality, Republicans.

Donald Trump's incompetence has killed Elizabeth Warren's brother. Chances that he expresses "condolences" by calling her "Pocahontas": 20 percent. Chances that he expresses condolences at all: Zero.

Republicans' hopes of ousting Democratic Congresswoman Katie Porter are flagging, and they're starting to think they should focus on beating her in the 2022 midterms instead. But there's no guarantee that a hardcore Trumpster doesn't decide to screw up their plans in the jungle primary and hand Porter an easy win in the general.

Sometimes it takes a pandemic for people to wake up and smell the coffee. Governor Andrew Cuomo delivered a pointed smackdown today to Moscow Mitch McConnell — who said he's against "blue state bailouts" during the pandemic:

"New York puts in to that federal pot $116 billion more than we take out. Kentucky takes out $148 billion more than they put in. Senator McConnell, who's getting bailed out here? It's your state that is living on the money that we generate."

Thanks, Gov. You make us cats PURR.

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