Thursday, July 9, 2020

Bad Day For Donald

By Hubie and Bertie

Just this past Tuesday, we speculated that the sneak peeks into Niece Mary's anti-Donald memoir could cause Trump to lose the week — something he could ill afford to do with the clock ticking down to Election Day. Now, we know for sure that he has: Not only did the Supreme Court rule against him this morning (with Justices Biff and Not-Merrick joining the majority), but "Black Lives Matter" started appearing on Fifth Avenue (right in front of you-know-where).

The SCOTUS decision means that the chances of Trump being prosecuted in New York after he leaves office just went up faster than COVID cases in the Sun Belt. This is mildly alarming when you realize that Benedict Donald now has triple/quadruple/quintuple the incentive to never leave the White House. He must have speed-dialed his buddy Vladimir for election-interference help as soon as he got the news.

This scares us more than anything. It's already clear that most of the country hates Trump and wants him gone — and with the ham-handed way the Trumpsters are handling the coronavirus pandemic and the economy (the 202-year-old retailer Brooks Brothers just declared bankruptcy), the chances are pretty good that they'll keep hating him come November 3. But the idea of our creaky and vulnerable electoral system being hacked by Trump-loving bad actors is terrifying.

We need to find something to take our minds off all this. How about a tropical storm? We cats HISS.

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