Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Imagine Donald Tweeting (It's Easy If You Try)

By Zamboni

We cats recently opined that among all of the hideous Donald Drumpf's equally hideous choices for a running mate, Iowa Senator Joni Ernst checked the appropriate boxes.

We had no idea that Senator Ernst read us so closely — but we're honored that she's rushed to tamp down the Trump talk, gasping, "I'm just focusing on Iowa right now."

So now what? We all know that, on paper, Ernst had to be one of the top five among Drumpf's realistic choices — and we also know that the presumptive Republican nominee does not take rejection well. So we're bracing ourselves for another famous Trumpian tweetstorm. We can see his reactions now:

"Iowa's Senator Joni Ernst scared of the big stage. No #TrumpVeep. Sad!"

"A running mate husband with a girl's name? Too much gender confusion already! No #GailErnst. No #TrumpVeep."

"More free time for Joni Ernst means she can do something about her looks. No #TrumpVeep. Harsh!"

"Who would shake hands with Joni Ernst the hog castrator? Not me! No #TrumpVeep. Gross!"

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