Friday, May 13, 2016

Veep Sweep: Suggestion Box

By Sniffles

The world is weighing in on the choices that the 2016 Presidential nominees should make for their running mates.

We cats couldn't care less whom Donald Drumpf picks — first because it's Donald Drumpf doing the picking, and second because of course it's going to be a clown. But we're way interested in whom Hillary Clinton will pick. (And yes, the Democratic nominee will be Hillary. We cats were really good in English, but we have great respect for math.)

Hillary's choices are somewhat constrained by the fact that the Democrats want to pick up the Senate this year — especially since the Republicans are hell-bent on nominating a down-ballot-dominating buffoon at the top of their ticket. So any Democratic Senator with a GOP Governor is a non-starter. Sorry, Elizabeth Warren. And, totally sorry, Sherrod Brown. (Sigh.)

There are other really attractive candidates, like Julian Castro or Xavier Becerra (ooh! — so cute). And we would even be open to our own Senator Tim Kaine from Virginia, not just because we have a Democratic Governor who could replace him or because he speaks fluent Spanish, but because his life's work is such a contrast to Donald Drumpf's — helping people in developing countries instead of getting rich off of Daddy's money and screwing every woman in sight. But we digress.

We have what we hope is a more interesting suggestion. And no, it's not Amy Klobuchar, whom we admire and who would add another two X chromosomes to the ticket. Actually, it's John Lewis.

John Lewis would be so amazing, we cats hardly know where to start. He would be the Democrats' acknowledgement that, yes, we know we lost the South when we enacted the Civil Rights Act and the Voting Rights Act back in the 1960s — and that's a good thing. The Democratic Party that arose from that earthquake is a better party for it. He would be a symbol of all the frustration we feel that the Supreme Court gutted the Voting Rights Act, and that we must, must, must restore it.

But that's not all: Can you imagine whoever the clown Donald Drumpf chooses debating John Freaking Lewis in the fall? Goodness gracious, it would make Biden versus Ryan look like a meeting of equals. Add to that the fact that Congressman Lewis could help put Georgia even further in play, and we think this nomination is the stuff that dreams are made of.

Well — it probably is a dream. But like the man who inspired John Lewis, we cats have one. And because we think Democrats could make significant statements against Drumpf in 2016, we hope Secretary Clinton thinks about this particular dream of ours. It would make history, and it sure would make us PURR.

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