What Really Ails The Nation

By Zamboni

We cats have many favorite lines in the movies, but one of the best is Max von Sydow's in "Hannah and Her Sisters": "If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up."

Today, the Son of God would be barfing on that Republican hypocrite from Utah, Jason Chaffetz.

You know Chaffetz. Usually he's outraged about "Benghazi" and "emails" and any other stuff that Hillary Clinton or a Democrat does — but can't be bothered to investigate when a hostile foreign power meddles in our election. But that's just one reason to despise him. His new comments about poor people buying iPhones instead of healthcare coverage gives us fresh ammunition.

Chaffetz would deny this to the skies, but his iPhone rant is deeply racist. How do we know? Because we've been avid readers of right-wing nutjobs at sites like Free Republic — and so we've seen, time and again, how convinced they are that inner-city black people were seduced to vote for Barack Obama because his campaign gave them free phones. "Obama phones," they called them. It wasn't poor white voters they were talking about. Take it from us.

In other words, clueless, elitist Republicans think that African Americans have a thing about phones. But when are they going to realize that the folks who benefit the most from the Affordable Care Act — and who will suffer the most if it's taken away — are the low-income-slash-working-class-slash-frightened white people who voted for them? (Maybe when many of them die, and the GOP starts losing elections?)

Chaffetz has blurted out this racist crap right on the heels of remarks by his Republican colleague Roger Marshall, a Kansas obstetrician who, as we recently pointed out, showed similar contempt for Americans who go on Medicaid. (See, if they do that, they're not paying him big bucks to deliver their babies.)

Funny thing about this: All these GOP guys claim to love Jesus. Well, we're pretty sure that Jesus would not love them back. We cats HISS and hack a huge hairball in Jason Chaffetz's underwear drawer.