Monday, March 20, 2017

Where's Willard?

By Zamboni

Remember back in 2012, when Willard Mitt Romney called Russia our nation's "number-one geopolitical foe," and everybody laughed at him? Goodness gracious — even our own Democratic President ridiculed the idea.

So after James Comey's testimony to the House Intelligence Committee today, why isn't Willard taking a victory lap?

Gosh! The director of the FBI has just confirmed that the bureau is actively investigating whether the Trump campaign's colluded with Russia to undermine our democracy. This sounds like treason. Yet the only thing that the Republicans have ever cared about is Hillary Clinton's emails. (Oh, and Benghazi — about which she testified to Congress for 11 hours and those GOP jackasses still couldn't lay a glove on her.)

If there's possible treason here at the behest of the dictatorship that Willard called our greatest foe, why isn't he calling a press conference to say "told ya so"? We cats can only come up with one answer, and it's not pretty: Willard is silent because the fraudulent President at the center of this nightmare is a Republican.

Drumpf is also someone who insulted Romney left and right during the campaign — and then humiliated him with that fake, oh-maybe-I'll-put-you-in-my-Cabinet meeting in November. But affronts to Mitt's manhood apparently pale in comparison with his loyalty to the GOP.

If anybody out there can think of another reason, we're all ears. But we won't hold our breath. It seems clear that Willard Mitt Romney is what we always thought he was: a phony, whiny, party-before-country, cowardly wanker. We cats HISS.

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