Thursday, September 22, 2016

And Now, From The Department Of Horrifying Thoughts Department...

By Miss Kubelik

Item #1: The political world is agog that George H.W. Bush has refused to deny the cat that Kathleen Kennedy Townsend recently let out of the bag: He'll vote for Hillary Clinton. However, we think few pundits are taking the Bush-Trump conundrum far enough into the future.

When will someone observe what the Bushes have already figured out — namely, that if Donald Drumpf doesn't go down to defeat in 2016, George P. Bush will have to run against Donald Jr. for the Republican nomination in 2024? (Whoa, hairball time.)

Item #2: Newt Gingrich is claiming that Drumpf is "the first conservative" courageous enough to brave America's hideous "inner cities" and "talk change." Obviously, what the former House Speaker meant was that Drumpf is a whitey who's not afraid to talk to black folk.

This statement is not only condescending, it is a lie. We cats are not in the habit of defending Republicans, but does anybody remember the GOP's 1996 Vice Presidential nominee? Jack Kemp was a trailblazer in reaching out to the African-American community, citing his football career as the basis for his belief in racial equality. If Kemp were alive today, he'd be spinning in his grave.

Item #3: This one is probably more scary for Republicans than for us. But there's a report that Mike Pence is going to attend Monday night's debate. He wants to "be there" for Drumpf. Okay, we'll set aside the bromance-y implications of that assertion and just say that it's a stupid waste of campaign resources. (Pence should be in a key battleground state, watching with supporters — oh, never mind.)

But maybe we do know why. Take Pence away, and who's going to be in the spin room for Drumpf afterwards? Gingrich, whom Garry Trudeau used to portray as a bomb with a lit fuse? Crazy Rudy Giuliani, foaming at the mouth? The Drumpf campaign needs a grownup, and since Kellyanne Conway can't seem to handle questions about Donald Trump's tax returns, and Steve Bannon and his white hood are under wraps, it looks like Mikey gets the job. We cats HISS.

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