Wednesday, September 28, 2016
Sorry, Republicans, But It's Not Howard's End
We cats saw Howard Dean's "cocaine user?" tweet right after Monday night's debate and thought it needed a little editing. (We offer our services. In fact, we'd love to manage his entire Twitter account if he'd let us.) But overall, we considered the tweet harmless.
Fast forward to this morning: News anchors are agog and the Donald Drumpf campaign, which makes a regular habit of insulting people, is wildly offended. The sky is falling!
Donald Trump was sniffing during the debate. We noticed it at the time. Then we checked the Twitterverse and saw that lots of other people were noticing, too. Governor Dean's tweet was just one more comment in the cacophony. (We were tickled, though, that in a subsequent TV interview Dean went on to say that Trump "also has grandiosity, which is something that accompanies [a cocaine] problem. He has delusions...when he told everybody he was very smart not to pay taxes, he denied he'd said it in front of 100 million people." PURR!)
But Trump's faux outrage about the Dean tweet is just that — faux — since it's impossible to be credible about allegations of drug use when you've spent weeks and months implying that Hillary Clinton was close to death because she had a cough. It's also impossible to be credible about drug use when Trump constantly argues that his status as the highest of high-powered New York corporate titans earns him the right to be President. We find it very hard to believe that someone who swaggered through the business and fashion worlds of the 1980s and '90s didn't do coke.
Of course, Trump could put this to rest by releasing all of his medical records. And since he so famously demanded that President Obama release his birth certificate, perhaps we, in turn, can demand that he submit to random drug tests. Our choice of time and place, Donald.
So, yes, allow us to rise to the defense of Howard Dean. He should not back down or remove the tweet — only cowards do that. Sure, we admit to suffering from an incurable case of Dean adoration. But since Trump has tried to claim that he didn't sniff during the debate (it was the mic!), we know this: Whatever Trump's malady — a cold, a coke habit, an overdose of Viagra — there is something deeply wrong with that man, and he must never be President. We cats HISS.
(IMAGE: Gee, Trump drank an awful lot of water on Monday, too. Another symptom? A lot of people are saying so!)