Monday, October 3, 2016

La Desaparecida

By Sniffles

President Obama says he can trace the rise of Donald Trump in 2016 back to John McCain's gravest sin — the selection of the Famous Quitter from Alaska as his running mate in 2008.

"I see a straight line from the announcement of Sarah Palin as the Vice Presidential nominee to what we see today in Donald Trump," the President told New York magazine, citing a "shift in the center of gravity for the Republican Party."

Gosh, what a coincidence. We cats were just thinking of Sarah Palin the other day. As in, where the heck is Sarah Palin?

Just a few weeks ago, her boy Trump was riding high! (Um — kind of. Sort of. For a little while. Not so much any more.) And remember when she endorsed him, wearing that strangely dominatrix-y outfit and belching forth her usual word salad? That was way back in January. Then she vanished. She didn't go to the convention. She hasn't been on the campaign trail. What gives?

We have several theories. The first is that with an idiot like Trump around, Palin seems redundant. So maybe the Trumpsters have told her that if she lies low and they win, there will be nice plum job waiting for her in the government she hates so much. And if they lose, there will still be a nice plum job waiting for her — but this time, at the Trump/Ailes Network.

Or, they could be saving her for a final two-week campaign blitz. At the rate things are going, though, that blitz — should it happen — will not be to battlegrounds states the Republicans hope to steal from Hillary Clinton. Instead, they'll have to ship Palin off to conservative enclaves in places like Iowa, North Carolina, southwestern Virginia and northern Florida. We cats PURR.

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