Monday, October 17, 2016


By Sniffles

Going into the 2016 general election, we all pretty much knew that Hillary Clinton would overwhelm Donald Drumpf in one particular category: her campaign surrogates.

President Obama, Vice President Biden, Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren are just some of the people not also named Clinton who are out on the hustings for the Democratic ticket. And with last week's speech in New Hampshire, Michelle Obama has proven herself to be the classiest of all. (So good, in fact, that she's headed to Arizona on Thursday, a fact that we think is very fun.)

So, We're wondering: Who do the Republicans have, female-wise, who could possibly hope to answer Mrs. O? Is there anyone who could step up to the plate and respond for the women who somehow are inexplicably not repulsed by Drumpf's "grab 'em by the you-know-what" tape?

Melania Trump? Somehow we can't see her claiming the moral high ground — not just because she's the wronged party and rarely if ever ventures out in public (#Moose&Squirrel). Karen Pence? A cipher. The Republican girl Senators? Kelly Ayotte is kind of busy right now, falling off the tightrope she's been trying to walk in her New Hampshire re-election bid. Deb Fischer has proven herself to be a spineless hypocrite. Susan Collins? Oh, please, that voice. We'd rather listen to Moose&Squirrel.

That leaves us with — drum roll — the famous quitter from Alaska! But where is Sarah Palin? We've asked that question before, and we're still waiting for the answer. We cats HISS.

(PHOTO: Collier Schorr for The New York Times)

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