Sunday, July 17, 2016

Like A Lead Balloon

By Zamboni

Reports are that Little Donnie Drumpf is feeling kind of deflated because his VP announcement fell flat. So to gin up excitement, he's thinking of announcing his Cabinet. Oooh! We hope he does it. More fodder.

What the Drumpf forces should be worrying about instead is all the stuff that can go wrong this week in Cleveland. So much already has — why should it stop now?

Here's just some of the mayhem that we're rooting for over the next few days:

Another attempted coup in a key foreign ally, giving Drumpfmania 2016, at best, a split screen on cable TV.

Delegates shout out misogynistic and racist obscenities whenever Secretary Clinton's and President Obama's names are mentioned. (As we know, this is totally possible.)

A reporter, ideally from Telemundo or Univision, gets roughed up on the floor. (Again, as we know, this has happened before.)

Ted Cruz goes all Pat Buchanan on them.

Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell get booed when they speak.

An outraged Sarah Palin tweets "WTF? Alaska's not too far!"

Delegates constantly shout out "BUILD THE WALL!" A Democratic ad custom-made for states like Arizona, no?

There's delegate-on-delegate violence. Colorado would a perfect venue: It's a Cruz-heavy delegation that Trump has accused of being "rigged."

Pence's speech bombs. Ms. Moose-and-Squirrel's speech bombs. Trump's speech bombs.

People start leaving, and the cameras pan rows of empty seats.

And of course, the balloons don't drop. We cats PURR.

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