The Subject Is McCAIN

By Baxter

Goodness gracious. Pigs with lipstick, pit bulls without it, fish in wrappers.

We cats always appreciate it when public discourse turns to the animal kingdom — maybe it'll help more people understand that Sarah Palin likes to shoot wolves from airplanes. But at the same time, we're a little amazed.

From the substance of the so-called pundits' conversation, you'd think that America had no problems whatsoever.

Can we please take a deep breath and remind ourselves who's running for President on the Republican side? It's a guy named John McCain, who is the person we really should be talking about. But Senator McCain — with the complete compliance of the "liberal" media — now is in total danger of being overshadowed by his running mate (you-know-who) and by a hyperventilating Republican party that, just in the last 10 days, has totally come to Jesus on the subject of sexism.

We cats note with an irritated switch of our tails that we didn't see Republicans being much concerned about sexism when Senator Clinton was in the race — remember how McCain laughed at "How do we beat the bitch?" Nevertheless, the faux GOP outrage seems to be taking over the airwaves.

We just have one question: Why did Senator McCain need to pick someone like you-know-who in the first place? (Aside from the fact that he's completely sold himself out to Karl Rove, Steve Schmidt and the other Bush campaign operatives who crushed him in 2000 by savaging his family.)

He picked someone like you-know-who because his candidacy, and his plans for the future of America, are inadequate and Bush Redux — and you're not supposed to think about that.

You're not supposed to think about how stressed your life is economically right now. You're not supposed to question whether Senator McCain has any plan to help you.

You're not supposed to focus on the serious problems we're facing: climate change, the mortgage meltdown, banks failing, the two wars we're fighting, the $500 billion deficit, the broken healthcare system, the energy crisis.

And you're definitely not supposed to think about the implication of a person picked solely for political expediency as an Oval Office back-up to a 72-year-old cancer survivor.

Nope, you're supposed to forget all that — and focus on lipstick and razzmatazz instead. We cats don't know about you, but to us that seems so 2004.

Enough, Senator McCain. Tell us how you're going to solve our problems. And how you're going to be different from Bush.

We bet you can't — which is why the silly diversions go on.